In a way it's good that they do mention it, but it always give ONE side and I think for adoptees, parents of adoptees, future parents of adoptees and general public can create misunderstanding and confusion.
I do agree to many things of what they talk about, but I also feel that they are seeking a problem they won't find an answer to.
It's just easy to call it "adoption damage". But seriously to me it's BULLSHIT in so many ways, and there is NOTHING that can prove if it's right or wrong because there is NO way to prove it.
No matter how many adoptees you ask you won't be able to find ONE answer as the issue is so complex.
However in research and for general public to understand that's the easy way to go.
But what about people who grew up with their biological family, what do they have to blame? Ignorance from parents?
You cannot blame the blood related family like you can with adoptees, because there's always a reason, like divorce, parents who are away too much, alcoholics or drug addicts etc.
To me it's sad that the human being cannot see what debate they actually open by saying these kinds of saying. And that they think they help so much, but I think many just get more confused.
Another example is foster care, I mean....Look at children who have been placed in foster care and if they are forced to spend time with both their foster parents and biological parents, does it help them or destroy them? Those children as well have been "abandoned" or is being "taken care of" by others.
What's is good? what's bad?
I'm not to tell the difference but it seems like a small article in a news paper is trying to!!
In today's adoption there are many mistakes and wrongs being made, but instead of looking at the real problem they use white lies and smaller issues to cover them.
Maybe look at the society from where adoptions are being held, why is it that country X has so many children given up for adoption? How can they change a culture and people?
Just by looking at question two, it's like mission impossible!!
By finding you heritage can make you more complete in one way, but it can also make you even more split.
I'd say it depends how the parents and society acts towards you, how open they are and how much they show if you are an "insider" or "outsider".
It also have to do with yourself, look into the mirror and say what you see, what's bothering and what's missing. Is it really important? if you eventually find it, will it make a difference? What else do you have in life that's precious to you?
Because this topic is so taboo, I think many do not really talk enough and that create the bigger holes.
Only to mention certain things doesn't mean that what you have is bad. Being open might make you more comfortable, but be aware of open the box to fast, once it's opened there's no turning back!!
It's better to seek for the things that matters the most, and keep in mind that everything cannot be answered not matter if you have been adopted or if you are a biological son or daughter.
Of course I as an adoptee I will always be different in one way, but I'm also just as normal as any other human being. And I do not blame my adoption for the trouble I have had in life or trouble I might come by, I believe problems occur because of other reasons. It's all depends on yourself, and your surrounding - who's holding your back!!
You know, questions will not stop until you get an answer or something close to it that satisfy your heart and mind....
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