Saturday, 31 January 2009

The time suddenly arrived

We have known it for a few months.. Tiffy will be off to South Korea.
On Tuesday after work I went to Tiffy's house and had a late lunch.. we chatted, watched various clips etc..
And later we had dinner and Liz and Pernilla also stopped by~
Suddenly.. The day came!! Everything went so fast~
Thursday Jan 29!!!
After work I went home and lay down in bed and watched a movie..and just let my mind go around in circles (My work is killing me, but at least I get a nice paycheck!)
In the afternoon I went to Tiffy's house..for the last time (this year)
Liz was there and later Sally joined us~
We ate Ddeokbokki, talked, wrote a review for DBSK's Love in the ice..and also helped Tiffy packing some of her stuff~
The time kept on going and around midnight we sat in her kitchen, drinking green tea, and watched varous DBSK concerts~
At 1am I was so tired so I layed down on 3 chairs and tried to get some sleep, besides I was going to have a jobinterview in the morning~
Around 4am we started to say our goodbyes.. I couldn't believe it.. Tiffy going!!!
After she went out to the airport we (L,S and me) went to Liz place and went to bed~

Saturday Jan 31

I woke up at 10.. just to be able to call to HeeJung unni in Korea and see if she met up with Tiffany..
They had found each other!! (^^) and they seemed to get a long!!
They were walking around in Jongno area..and tried to find a phone.. I suggested them to go to Yongsan, but we'll see!
And..HeeJung unni liked her gift.. I bought her a t-shirt! (^^)
I miss my HeeJung unni and Korea..and I'm jealous that Tiff gets to spend time with her.. I want it tooooo!!! (^^;)
When I started my computer I saw that I got a email from Arum Unni, she will leave to Switzerland next week~
So I hope we will be able to meet up somewhere soon~~
I miss my Arum unni too!!!

Today's mood: Gloomy
Today's food: Kimchi jjigae
Today's song: SS501 - Bye bye
Today's photo:
Me and HeeJung Unni in Gyeongju 2008

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

The reason why I stopped!

I used to love it.. really I did love it!
I had so much fun and so on until one day I realized that if you want to get a head you need to well.. pay! in various ways..

You can't be pure and simple.. you have to be something! or have connections~
However you don't have to be smart or really do anything as long as others can use you!!
Some people also think that because they have a title they are better than others! HAH!! what a lie seriously you are so low.. it is beyond the 0!!
But if it makes you happy go ahead!

Say one thing.. and do another..
Believe in various things without checking it.. or telling it is someone else fault however in real it's YOURS!! you are just to afraid to say it out loud because you want people to believe that you are a nice person~
Like they say "Fool me once shame on you..Fool me twice shame one me"

So..well I don't care anymore.. I'm not like YOU who only have one thing in mind.. besides.. what are you really?!
To put effort in things in order to help you..I did it once but to do it again? NO THANKS!!
Do you want to know what you really are?? a POWER eating monster!!

Maybe you can fool many people but not me!
I don't care if you are more popular.. in the end.. you are F A K E ! !
And if you can live with it.. fine by me.. but I DO KNOW who you are and one day.. others will found out, believe it or not.

Why be a part of a "I'm so cool, I'm better than you, I have more power than you-club"
Please grow up.. and look at things with various views!
I really hope you will~ because I feel sad that you just use people.. I feel sad for everyone you use and get hurt! because they thought you were a nice person! but at least you are not that smart.. I mean you have shown you true face more than once even though you don't know it!
Too bad for you! Lucky me/us!
Also..sometimes when you have shared thoughts about people WHO you think have something to give and the people who doesn't~
Really YOU ARE STUPIED!! You look for the easy-going who says a lot of things (and sounds positive and can fix it all) but in the end doesn't do anything!
While the ones who are smart and quiet who gets things done.. them you just throw away!

You stand in front of a crowd and say how much believe and support you have given for various things, but really what you do is that YOU take credit for other people's work!
A work they have been working on day and night in order to please you.. since YOU had been against since day one! and telling them how much they suck and how it is supposed to be done if you were the one in charge! but darling THEY did the job better than you but somehow you act like a boss of everything.. even when you are a "guest" you take the charge and think you are the boss!
WHAT the heck is WRONG with YOU???
The ones who has made everything come true doesnt even gets a real thank you! they get the "Thank God you made it or I would have kicked you out"
- Does glory means so much to you??
- Making you feel important does that means so much to you?

Let me give you a small advice..See people for what they really are! I promise.. it's worth it!
+ what you are doing... it's supposed to be a interest/fun thing to SHARE with others, MANY OTHER people not an exclusive group as you treat it.. This is not a life and death thing!

Maybe you can't see my new interest and how fun it is..
and how fun it is to meet REAL people.. I mean you are living in a fantasy world so you don't see it.
People who doesnt USE other people to get what they want..
Giving people are the ones to trust.. friendship/relationships is about GIVE and TAKE

I do know people who still follow you..
and people you think are something.. but in real life and society my dear...
they are just like you NOTHING!
Maybe you have a name.. well.. congratulations..
But do not think for a sec that it gives YOU the right to treat others like you do!!
I have met people who are 10000000 times better than you~
Same name, education..status but they have something you don't have COMMON SENSE!
That makes them much richer and better than you! and that shows once again how low and disgusting you are!

I quote Heidi Klum: 1 day you are in.. the next you are out!
But being OUT it's not a bad thing.. it's actually better than being IN! and have to be around you!
However when you tell people are OUT them it to their face or an email.. and not keep shut and make people wonder!!
I think that is the worst! but well.. you are the WORST!

If I get the chance to hit you.. I will~
If I get the chance to spit you in the face.. I will~
If I get the chance to show the rest who you really are.. Show them what you really are made of!!.. I will~

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Time to fix~

It's time to fix~

1. a fulltime job
2. better skin!!! (my skin is so dry!!!)

So in order to progress.. I have been sending out my CV to various places and I hope and pray that I will get an answer from someone.
But to get a job is not easy~ (_ _)

Then.. because of this cold and bad weather my skin goes ****!
It's so dry.. it amazing in some ways.. didn't know it could happen.
So today I bought loads of creams for superdry skin and I hope my skin will turn back to normal!


Today I got DBSK new single Bolero..
I didn't like Bolero at first (Radio rips) but the more I listen the more I LOVE it!
However 忘れないで(Wasurenaide - Don't forget) is my fave!!
Wonder how they would sound in Korean~

Also.. What am I gonna send Sayuri.. it's her B-day next month.. but at the moment I'm caught in the middle..hmm.. think think think~

Time to sleep, got to work tomorrow!

Today's mood: Tired
Today's food: Greek food
Today's song: DBSK/TVXQ/THSK - Bolero

Saturday, 17 January 2009

80% lighter~

Yesterday morning I finished my last exam...
However I have to tell you that my professor started to piss me off!!
I was the last one..because I didn't want to rush, however...still when I had 1 hour and 30 min left he started walking back and forth and checking his watch every 10 sec.
IMAGINE how angry it made me..!!
I mean if it would have been only a few min. left it would have been okay.. but hello!!! 1, 5 hours!!!!!!

Anyhow I was almost done and right after I handed my exam to my teacher.. he RAN out of the classroom.. he even shut off the lights even though I was still in the room!
I know he is older and all.. but I think that was rather RUDE!!

So I'm happy I won't see him or the other professors again!!! well I need to get my exam back but well~

When I came out I felt 80% lighter in my heart!!
Can you believe it!? 80% = PAIN they have caused me.. their so called GREAT way of teaching!

In the evening I met my friend Linnea and had dinner at a Spanish Tapas restaurant...
it was so yummy!! we ate a lot.. ^^
Then we went home to her, watched tv and talked.. and I showed her my new "L O V E"~
Lee Min Ho - aka Goo Jun Pyo. She said she thought he was H O T (^^;)


Today.. I slept until.. well quite late!
Then I ate lunch and went to Hanna's place... we watched the Super Junior 1st Asia Tour concert
I have to say that half of the group.. doesnt have any talent at all. but they are cute in their own ways~ Hangeng, Siwon, Ryeowook and HeeChul are my fave SuJu's!
We also saw the chinese movie Butterfly lovers (starring. SMEXY Wu Chun)~
I really liked the movie a lot.. Wu Chun was so hot.. and it was a really nice made movie..!
Hanna is a lot of fun.. she always do something fun and makes me laugh~
Like a cute little sister in a way!

Today's mood: Happy
Today's food: Tapas
Today's song: Super Junior - She's gone

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Is it okay to cry?

Sorry for being so down..
but.. is it okay to cry?
I looked into the mirror but all I could see was a huge ZERO written on my forehead..
+ a small motivation for anything~

Everything just seems meaningless...

1. I hate my Korean studdies, well tomorrow they are over~
2. I hate false people.
3. I hate that it's so difficult to get a good job
4. I hate the cold weather take makes my face dry as sand!
X. I hate that even music can't make me happy!!!!
XX. I hate that not even my pretty boys (spec.15) can make me happy (saying fun things, sing, dramas..whatever..)

But I guess life isn't supposed to be a dance on roses everyday, but since I came home (from Korea) I have just felt down~ when it comes to my studdies.. in Korea I had so much fun while learning, it was actually fun to go to my univ.
But here.. it feels like I'm taking a trip to hell everytime~
I actually miss my Saturday Korean School lessons... and my teacher Min Jun Kyuoppa He was the best of them all~
Why did he have to go back to London..and Korea?? I wonder how much I would have progressed if I would have had him for the past 1,5 years~
WAY lot more than I have at Stockholm univ. I mean... I progressed so much in Korea and now I have been slowing down and it feels like something is eating my brain!!!!

Today's mood: MISERABLE
Today's food: Omurice
Today's song:(Arashi) - 感謝カンゲキ雨嵐 (Kansha Kangenki Ame Arashi)
Today's photo: 3 people who makes me a bit happy~
Jung Yunho (DBSK) - Love when he dance!
Jerry Yan - Looking forward to his new drama - STARLIT
Sakurai Sho face expression.. LOVE it (^_^)

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

It is almost over now~

For 1,5 years.. I have been studying Korean at Stockholm University. and on Friday it comes to an end.. I think~ unless I'll have to take a re-test!
At first I thought it was a good way to learn, however as time passed by I realized how much I don't like their way of so called way of teaching.. can I call them lazy? or are they just narrow minded?
Somehow.. I don't feel like I'm progressing at all.. my own will for learning just dies and I feel that I start lacking the ability of learning~
not only korean but other things as well~
Friday = Korean grammer exam..
Hanja (chinese characters) is spinning around in my head~
and I have much to study.. FIGHTING!!
Anyway~ I have decided to put an end to it and start with something new..
+ I hope I can go to Korea this coming summer too, I really liked their way of teaching.

This week I took an exam, I passed but it was the worst grade I have ever recieved in Korean history and history as subject for that matter.. Sad? no not really.. more angry~
But that was yesterday.. and forgotten soon!
Somehow I do not really care anymore... time to put this chapter behind me and start a new one~

In 2 weeks my friend Tiff are off to S.Korea.. I envy her some days.. and not some other..
But I hope we'll spend the summer together~
and if we are lucky enough.. we can go to Japan and see DBSK.. and also to Jeju-do and teddybear museum~

Todays mood: Sick of everything
Today's food: Pasta
Today's song: 絢香(Ayaka) - 手をつなごう(Te wo tsunagou)
Today's photo: Me in Japan September 2008
At Tokyo Tower
At a temple in Kyoto

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Friendship.. is a tough thing~

The thing.. called do you define it?
The past month I have been thinking a lot about it..!

What is "a friend" and.. who am I really friends with, with a deeper relation!
Is it all about calling or talk somehow each day, every week...!?
or just by being in someones address book?

Sometimes I wonder who I can call "friends" and the ones who call "acquaintance"~

I have never been this type who have had a "bestfriend" and can only be with a few people at the time..
For me.. it has to be mutal.. it doesnt have to be a meet/talk everyday~
but to meet once in a while and when meeting we have something to talk about or just pick up where we left off last time..
I'd say it's about knowing that we know each other well enough! (no words what so ever)

ie. Last year (2008), I was in S.Korea during my b-day.. besides from my parents..who were the first to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY?
It was T & L.. whom I have known..for less than a year (if we go back 2 my b-day date)
They called all the way from Sweden to my mobilephone (which ISN'T cheap!!) just to say Happy birthday and talk to me for 1,5 hours!
Then the ones who wrote emails, messages on facebook etc~
But in a way.. the ones I really believed would say happy birthday to me didn't~~ Disappointed? a bit maybe.. but.. well it's not the end of the world..!
But it made me wonder~

Anyhow.. also.. looking at some friends, they are just there, they are not looking for something in return, they are just plain nice!
HeeJung, Tiff, Liz, Sayuri are some of them~ (they have meant a lot to me during 2008!)
I hate people who only talks to me because I can give them something.. and when they got it it's good-bye~
or people I have known and who suddenly let things go to their head! and become someone I don't know and someone I don't want to know!
I'm tired of people who are back talking and think they are something more than they really are.
And think they are so cool and that their way of thinking is the only right one and that THEY are the only ones who matters and that their feelings means more than others... know what?
I have been taught to "try and to put others before yourself.." but sometimes that is difficult!

Let me explain:

A couple of weeks before X-mas I met a friend.. whom I had not seen for what?? 8-9 months?
We hanged out for what..45 min? Then she had to go to class.. however when we were on the underground she found out that she didnt have class.. but instead of hanging out more with me.. she choosed to go to her boy friend and play monopoly!!!!
THEN she said that I'm the one who never have time to see her etc.. She actually shouted at me on the underground and people around us just starred at me!! and I wanted to slap her but I didn't but I was PISSED!! Well EXCUSE me for studying and working...
THE THING is that I do have time to see her (and other people for that matter) and I have called so many times these passed 8-9 months and she is the one who's always saying she doesnt have time!
BUT the thing that made me more angry was the BF situation~~
I could have understood if she hadn't seen him for some time etc.. but saying she rather go to him and play MONOPOLY than to be with me for at 30 min extra and then go to his place or whatever... THAT WAS IT!!
The people who chooses their BF before their friends.. are not a friend! not to me~
You can go to your BF.. I don't care! I do hope he makes you happy! But don't bother coming to me just becuase you have some extra time over when he is not around!
((the reason why I'm saying this NOW is because we met at a X-mas party and she said hello like nothing has happened, and she was all happy etc and I just wanted to go towards another direction but I said my Hi.. and Bye!! AND she texted me today and asked if I wanted to do something.. and I don't know what to say.. because she doesnt know how I feel at all!!
To add things to this whole situation.. she has done this to another friend too.. you see.. it is NEVER her fault!! only ours!!))


Yesterday I met a friend I havent seen for almost 2,5-3 months..
still when we met.. we had things to talk about.. no hard feelings etc.
Strange isn't it.. how different people can be~
And today I met a friend I have known since I was 12...
Since we have different life-styles etc today we don't meet too often, but we send texts from time to time and when we meet we have fun and things to talk about etc.
That is friendship for me~
We can talk about old days, and also share what goes around today and it feels like we meet all the time.

Also..talking about close friendship and long distance~
HeeJung.. whom I have met "twice".. the times when I have been in Korea.. that will say..
She is like the big sister I never had, she always helps out and are so NICE.. like an angel!? she has also help my friend Tiff out.. without knowing her!! (I'll quote HJ "You are my friend so that means she is my friend too") and I do know how busy HJ is with work etc.
Sayuri, we studdied together in Korea and we also met up when I went to Tokyo.. Even though we only hanged out for 3 months, it feels like I know her better than people I have known for a long time! She is also kind and fun!! I miss her very much!
Also JiSeun... we only met a few times in London(I was there for 1 month), still we talk on msn and send texts from time to time. She also introduced me to her best friend in S.Korea (while she herself was in London..).. I and her friend met up and she was really nice.

In a way.. even though we havent known each other that "long" or spent "that much" time together.. still our friendship is stronger then the ones I have with people who are close to me...

Friendship isnt supposed to make you tired and feel uncomfortable~
It's not supposed to be hard work~
It's just supposed to flow

If you want to make it difficult.. don't bother!
If you just talk to me because you want something.. don't bother!
If you are uncomfortable in any ways.. just tell me!

We might be different but look for the best..
I might not always like you or support you in everything.. but I'll still be there and I hope you will do the same for me.
If you don't like the same kind of guys, clothes, music, movies like me.. it's okay! But let me like or be me like I let you be you.
Even in my interests are boring in your eyes.. hear me out and try it, maybe not all but do not turn it down only because you don't know it!! if you don't like it.. that's fine but do not just say NO because you don't know!
I'll never force you to be something or do something you don't want to.. but I do want you to be able to try or see it with various views but still stand for your own opinion!

There are many friends who means a lot to me.. but it would take a week to write about all of you! and I hope you know who you are if not.. I'm sorry not letting you know!!

Today's mood: Confused
Today's song: SS501 - 내 머리가 나빠서(Because I'm stupied)
宇多田ヒカル(Utada Hikaru) - Come back to me
Today's photo: a light for all my wonderful and true friends~

Friday, 2 January 2009

2009 just began~

Another year ends, in this case year of 2008!
and year of 2009 begins!!

I started my last day of the year by going to the supermarket..and it was loads of people there so I tried to be as quick as possible!
Came home and started to clean and got ready!!
I also talked with Sayuri, she was already in 2009, while I was still stuck in 2008... She was in the future, a bit scary (^^)
Around 9.40 pm my bitches arrived!!! ^^
we talked, drank, ate snacks..and the it was 2009!!!!!
We watched all the fireworks from my balcony.. u could say.. the fireworks of Stockholm, not a hit but better than nothing!!!

Then we watched a korean and then I fell asleep (work tomorrow)

Woke up at 12pm?
made breakfast for us all.. made Rabokki... ^^ Super yummy!!
we were all a bit dead, 0r rather tired...
we talked then I had to go to work~~

Came home around 9.20.. walked all the way home, super cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ate some dinner, and watched Johnny's countdown!
Arashi were hosts this year!!! (0^___^)~~
2009 = 10th year with ARASHI
I'm so looking forward 2 this year!!

Highlights from the concert:
1. Arashi Super hit medley!!! ❤❤❤❤❤/☆☆☆☆☆
2. Takizawa Hideaki on stage!! (Tackey "flying" ^^)
3. V6 eating Ramen ^^ ☆☆☆
4. HSJ performance ((山田亮介, 岡本圭人 ★★)) 
5. KinKi Kids new single - 約束!! ☆☆☆☆☆
6. Koichi-kun's b-day!!!
7. Uchi Hiroki's "comeback" ☆☆☆☆
8. MatsuJun end of Love so sweet..loved his look!!
9. Small "バカ" dance with Sho-chan, Aiba-chan, Subaru.. while singing Happiness
10. Daite seniorita (Tsubasa, Inocchi, Yamapi, Akanishi, Matsujun)
11. Shuji to Akira (Okada, Nagase, Kame, Yamapi, Nino, Ryo) - Nagase were totally lost..haha ^^ Okada too in a way, and Nino's dance was a bit off! but fun to see the two RYUSEI NO KIZUNA brothers!!
11. Nagase holding MatsuJun ^^ ❤❤❤
12. Ryo-chan + Matsujun, Ryo-chan + Nino ❤❤❤❤❤
13. Kanjani8's jackets.. loved the spots!!
13. はつうた ♪♪♪♪♪

What I missed:
1. Tackey & Tsubasa, they havent done anything together during 2008 besides from 1 performance wouldnt have been too much to ask for.. or at least have them singning more songs... they could have done a similar performance to the one they made on Music Station in 2007!!!
2. More of KinKi Kids and V6 and Hey Say JUMP!... and Tokio (old songs)!!
3. Have all on ONE stage!! and not 3 various venues.. (_ _;)
4. last interview with KinKi.. but they were in the middle of their concert..
(_ _)