The past month I have been thinking a lot about it..!
What is "a friend" and.. who am I really friends with, with a deeper relation!
Is it all about calling or talk somehow each day, every week...!?
or just by being in someones address book?
Sometimes I wonder who I can call "friends" and the ones who call "acquaintance"~
I have never been this type who have had a "bestfriend" and can only be with a few people at the time..
For me.. it has to be mutal.. it doesnt have to be a meet/talk everyday~
but to meet once in a while and when meeting we have something to talk about or just pick up where we left off last time..
I'd say it's about knowing that we know each other well enough! (no words what so ever)
ie. Last year (2008), I was in S.Korea during my b-day.. besides from my parents..who were the first to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY?
It was T & L.. whom I have known..for less than a year (if we go back 2 my b-day date)
They called all the way from Sweden to my mobilephone (which ISN'T cheap!!) just to say Happy birthday and talk to me for 1,5 hours!
Then the ones who wrote emails, messages on facebook etc~
But in a way.. the ones I really believed would say happy birthday to me didn't~~ Disappointed? a bit maybe.. but.. well it's not the end of the world..!
But it made me wonder~
Anyhow.. also.. looking at some friends, they are just there, they are not looking for something in return, they are just plain nice!
HeeJung, Tiff, Liz, Sayuri are some of them~ (they have meant a lot to me during 2008!)
I hate people who only talks to me because I can give them something.. and when they got it it's good-bye~
or people I have known and who suddenly let things go to their head! and become someone I don't know and someone I don't want to know!
I'm tired of people who are back talking and think they are something more than they really are.
And think they are so cool and that their way of thinking is the only right one and that THEY are the only ones who matters and that their feelings means more than others... know what?
TRY TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!
I have been taught to "try and to put others before yourself.." but sometimes that is difficult!
Let me explain:
A couple of weeks before X-mas I met a friend.. whom I had not seen for what?? 8-9 months?
We hanged out for what..45 min? Then she had to go to class.. however when we were on the underground she found out that she didnt have class.. but instead of hanging out more with me.. she choosed to go to her boy friend and play monopoly!!!!
THEN she said that I'm the one who never have time to see her etc.. She actually shouted at me on the underground and people around us just starred at me!! and I wanted to slap her but I didn't but I was PISSED!! Well EXCUSE me for studying and working...
THE THING is that I do have time to see her (and other people for that matter) and I have called so many times these passed 8-9 months and she is the one who's always saying she doesnt have time!
BUT the thing that made me more angry was the BF situation~~
I could have understood if she hadn't seen him for some time etc.. but saying she rather go to him and play MONOPOLY than to be with me for at 30 min extra and then go to his place or whatever... THAT WAS IT!!
The people who chooses their BF before their friends.. are not a friend! not to me~
You can go to your BF.. I don't care! I do hope he makes you happy! But don't bother coming to me just becuase you have some extra time over when he is not around!
((the reason why I'm saying this NOW is because we met at a X-mas party and she said hello like nothing has happened, and she was all happy etc and I just wanted to go towards another direction but I said my Hi.. and Bye!! AND she texted me today and asked if I wanted to do something.. and I don't know what to say.. because she doesnt know how I feel at all!!
To add things to this whole situation.. she has done this to another friend too.. you see.. it is NEVER her fault!! only ours!!))
AND
Yesterday I met a friend I havent seen for almost 2,5-3 months..
still when we met.. we had things to talk about.. no hard feelings etc.
Strange isn't it.. how different people can be~
And today I met a friend I have known since I was 12...
Since we have different life-styles etc today we don't meet too often, but we send texts from time to time and when we meet we have fun and things to talk about etc.
That is friendship for me~
We can talk about old days, and also share what goes around today and it feels like we meet all the time.
Also..talking about close friendship and long distance~
HeeJung.. whom I have met "twice".. the times when I have been in Korea.. that will say..
She is like the big sister I never had, she always helps out and are so NICE.. like an angel!? she has also help my friend Tiff out.. without knowing her!! (I'll quote HJ "You are my friend so that means she is my friend too") and I do know how busy HJ is with work etc.
Sayuri, we studdied together in Korea and we also met up when I went to Tokyo.. Even though we only hanged out for 3 months, it feels like I know her better than people I have known for a long time! She is also kind and fun!! I miss her very much!
Also JiSeun... we only met a few times in London(I was there for 1 month), still we talk on msn and send texts from time to time. She also introduced me to her best friend in S.Korea (while she herself was in London..).. I and her friend met up and she was really nice.
In a way.. even though we havent known each other that "long" or spent "that much" time together.. still our friendship is stronger then the ones I have with people who are close to me...
Friendship isnt supposed to make you tired and feel uncomfortable~
It's not supposed to be hard work~
It's just supposed to flow
If you want to make it difficult.. don't bother!
If you just talk to me because you want something.. don't bother!
If you are uncomfortable in any ways.. just tell me!
We might be different but look for the best..
I might not always like you or support you in everything.. but I'll still be there and I hope you will do the same for me.
If you don't like the same kind of guys, clothes, music, movies like me.. it's okay! But let me like or be me like I let you be you.
Even in my interests are boring in your eyes.. hear me out and try it, maybe not all but do not turn it down only because you don't know it!! if you don't like it.. that's fine but do not just say NO because you don't know!
I'll never force you to be something or do something you don't want to.. but I do want you to be able to try or see it with various views but still stand for your own opinion!
There are many friends who means a lot to me.. but it would take a week to write about all of you! and I hope you know who you are if not.. I'm sorry not letting you know!!
Today's mood: Confused
Today's song: SS501 - 내 머리가 나빠서(Because I'm stupied)
宇多田ヒカル(Utada Hikaru) - Come back to me
Today's photo: a light for all my wonderful and true friends~
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