Saturday 12 November 2011

Being adopted from South Korea


I wrote my life story in Swedish last month.. telling people of how my life as an adoptee has been.
But to be honest it does feel stupid to re-write it into English.
However I do know that there are people around the world who are curious and some do not dare to ask.
I can tell you in my life there have been ups and downs. There have been times I wish I was anything but me.. If I would have had been born blonde and with blue eyes would have had been perfect. As I then I would not have had been different or received questions like: Why do I not look like my mum? Are you Chinese or Are you Japanese?

At an age of 16 I came across a turn of events. Instead of hiding who I really am, I tried to find that person, find my other half. Being proud of being me and not trying to be something I'm not! Walking with my head high! Because there are nothing to hide with the fact that I'm adopted. I mean I have GREAT parents who loves me, I have a wonderful big brother even if we tend to fight now and then!

After all soul searching or what to call it..I still have not tried to look for my birth parents, but I have tried to explore the Korean side of me in many other ways. Ways I like and feel happy about... Actually I'm not fully sure how to put it in words.
Not really sure if my way of exploring my Korean side of me has anything to do with me feeling different. Sometimes it just feels like "why not", I'm what I am.. I am being me!
Or maybe it also was a way to be able to answer peoples questions...?

First time I went to Korea I was 12-13 years old and during that trip and after I never felt more non-Korean as during that time! Everything was different and weird and I did not belong at all!
But time passed and I met other things in life that made me re-think.

Me and my brother, who's also adopted from Korea, are very different when it comes to being "adoptees" and when it comes to "being Korean".
I've lived in Korea for aprox 1 year - enjoying the SEOUL life, meeting its culture and weirdness! I've also studied the language and through all that became more Korean, I guess. It's easier to get Korea when you know what they are saying! I miss using Korean language back home in Sweden. There are words in Korean language that do not exist in either English or Swedish, but are PERFECT words for various situations!! (^^;;)
I love that I've found a way to have 1 foot in Asia and 1 foot in Europe.




My brother likes the shopping and food but that's it! He's rather a normal Swedish young person.
He says he's a mix of it all, still I think he's more Swedish or maybe he doesn't want to steal my thunder!? (^^;;)

While living in Korea I met wonderful people, some of them are really close, we talk almost daily! With some of them I speak more often rather with my friends here in Sweden!! Not a choice, more like here gets in the way and then it's easier to chat around the clock. 
I miss my friends in Korea and wish we could meet more often, just go and grab a coffee, hang out...
Therefore every time we meet the time feels more precious!!

Anyway... for me I tend to say I do not have one country in my heart. My home is where my heart is. No matter if it's in Sweden or Korea... it can also be wherever I feel like it!
I do not really care, my passport says one thing but so what!?

I'm happy I'm being able to have both sides!
Being adopted makes question to rise, I think no matter if you are adopted or not there will be some questions you want to answer for yourself...
I'm thankful to all people I've met on the road, I'm thankful to my parents and brother... and friends! I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been given!


Also, along the way I have met many adoptees and many unlike me wants to meet their biological family. All I can say... before you do the search think of what you want out out the possible meeting.
Do you want to just want to see who's looks you got and say Hi and I'm alive? Do you want a relationship? Try to imagine what you want and try to connect and see others who have met theirs to understand what can happen in your situation.
It can be wonderful as you extend your family, but there could also be a culture difference and there could be misunderstandings.
Mentally you need to be prepared for the many possibilities and also how to handle your "new" family or possible rejection they do not want to meet you.

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